Another Keith Quinn Moment.

Case open, case shut, but you could pay to close it like a casket. Baby-boy can't lift his headache head - isn't it tragic?

So, mixed reviews, folks. As an artist I am glad that the last piece struck a chord with you all. Raw nerves and frayed edges aside, I am proud of that little piece of writing. It is succinct (a rarity for me), concise and measured. It flows, it works. It tears you up a little, if the reviews are anything to go by, and that can only be a good thing. But that is enough of the self-congratulation. I didn't mean to cause any of you any offence, heartache or anger. It is only a story.

Tonight it is hot, and I am yearning for a night like the many I have spent in the arms of girls with pretty faces and perfect bodies pressed against my own. Those wild nights that remind me of sweet summer sweat and taste like the salt on the skin of young women. On those nights, growing up and growing drunker, we shed our layers under the warm moon and found things in one another we thought we never could: pure escapism, pure lust, pure release. And so what if we grew apart the next morning when sobriety returned and we realised this wasn't love? Jesus, blue-jay, it was worth the effort. We lived a few hours on those nights in that perfect synchronicity that only young lovers find themselves in. We had all night, and all of the rest of our lives to find out the hard way. Yes sir, I want a few more nights like that. I'm still a young lover, if a little low on the love.

It reminds me of the time I found myself in the backseat of an old, worn out Commodore racing across the countryside in search of acceptance in Hamilton. I was 14 years old, with a head full of speed. We had three bottles of no-label rum and three ounce-bags of weed in my backpack. Sitting between me and a swarthy looking Gangster-wannabe of about 19 years of age, was the most stunningly beautiful girl I had ever met. Her name was Jade, and I had only met her two hours earlier. She was a friend of the gang moll bitch who was sitting in the front passenger seat, jabbering her speed-freak head off about nothing in particular to Rubin. Rubin was a criminal. He was a crazy motherfucker, with no regard for normal decency and with no Fear of anything. He liked me because the first time he met me I had taken on three Prospects by myself when they tried to rob my wallet in the hope I carried a lot of cash.

What fourteen year old, with long hair and no facial hair to speak of, carries large amounts of cash around the rough western suburbs of Hamilton at 3am on a Saturday morning, I wondered. To Rubin, who had set the three upon me, this didn't bear thinking about. He wanted cash for some more piss, and he didn't care where it came from. After I had taken out two of his lackeys, and the third one's head had just been snapped back by a fast, accurate left jab to the point of his jaw, Rubin entered the fray and ended proceedings. He sent his subjects on their way with promises to kill any one of them if they talked to anyone about what had just happened. I saw from the looks on their faces that they didn't doubt the honesty of this, but that none of them were about to going telling people about the night they lost a fight three on one to a small kid with long, rock-a-billy hair.

Rubin offered me drugs. I accepted. Some nights are weirder than others, and I figured this was just one of those nights. By the next morning I was to be prospecting for Rubin and his gangster friends.

*****

And so it was that we were snaking past farms and rivers at some insane speed this particular night. We were on our way to introduce me to the criminals who shared Rubins' world. I was someone with potential, a future - if I wanted it, as Rubin said; as if there was an alternative - in the criminal world. Jade, the girl beside me, was more blatantly scared than I was. This was both understandable and correct. I could be beaten or even killed if things went wrong, but at least I wouldn't be raped. This was a real possibility for her, beautiful as she was. I sensed her unease, so I tried to make her a little more comfortable.

'You okay?' I whispered to her, leaning in only slightly closer. I didn't want Rubin to notice me talking openly to her.

'Uh... not really. I'm scared. Really scared.' It wasn't hard to see. She was rigid.

I was young, on speed and totally full to the brim with false-confidence once confronted with a scared girl to look after. I saw an opening, so I took it. 'It's okay, I'll look after you,' I smiled reassuringly. 'Nothing's gunna happen, I'll make sure of it.'

She smiled, put her hand softly on my leg beside her, and I stared out the window at the trees racing past the window. My head swirled, and I smiled to myself.

*****

Rubin pulled up outside the gang compound too fast, hitting the tyres against the curb and mounting the footpath. He laughed in a goofy, embarrassed way and told us to politely, 'Get the fuck out here'.

I grabbed my backpack and a bottle of rum. Swigging hard on the bottle, I decamped the car. I handed the bottle to Jade as she got out and she took a long draw on it, wincing at the taste. I smiled at her like we were just heading into the nearest burger king for a feed, and she looked at me as if I were some kind of madman with a heart of gold. 'It'll be sweet as, man. Don't worry about it,' I told her in a low voice. She nodded as though I'd just told her I had found a dubious cure for cancer in the urinal of a seedy country pub. She didn't believe it would be okay, but she had no better bet than me. Some nights are weirder than others.

We walked through the gates behind Rubin and into the compound. It was nondescript, at least to me. I was speeding; my head seething and roiling and generally making me feel like a million bucks. I had no need to take in details. In what seemed like only moments we were inside a room with two large, tattooed gangsters. They were sitting on a decrepit old couch smoking a large, fat Marley. They looked up as we entered and it wasn't hard to tell the weren't impressed by what they saw.

'Hu the fuck yu got 'ere then, Rube? The fuckin' honky squad?' They chuckled lightly, completely at ease.

'Nah, bro. This 'ere's the little cunt hu fucked ova my free boys th'ova weekend.' Rubin sat beside them on a chair, leaving me and Jade alone in the centre of the room. The gang moll with us was on Rubin's knee, and the prospect who travelled with us had disappeared somewhere between the car and the room. ''Member I tol' yu fullas bout that, eh? Little bastard wasted 'em up, no problems, huhuhuhu.'

'Tha' right, Rubin? Don't look like no tough cunt t' me. Yu a tough cunt, yu long 'aired little bastard?'

It was at this point that I was glad Rubin had given me the speed. He wasn't an idiot. He knew a little bit of amphetamine would be just what I needed in here. He was an evil bastard, but a good guy. 'I'm not really tough, bro. But I fucked up your prospects the other week, just like Rubin said.'

They laughed at this. 'Fuck, yu got the honky tongue beau! Yu some kinda white shet or what? Huhuhu, fuckin' hell Rubes yu better hope this fullas the real deal.'

"He is, Sarge. Ne'mind those ones. E's a good little cunt, an' 'e's got what it takes.'

The speed was racing through me now. I swigged at the rum, which made the two gangsters laugh again. 'Look,' I began. 'I just came here to tee up a deal with you guys. Apparently you need some prospects who won't get beaten up by fourteen year olds, and who have some brains. I'm your guy. Who cares how I talk? I slur when I'm drunk and I whisper when I'm stoned, just like you guys.'

'Yeah, awlrite mate,' the one called Sarge said in a mocking tone. 'Yu can prospec' faw us. It's Rubin's arse on the line, tho, if yu fuck it up. Yu ain't gunna be in here no more, yu out on the streets. This our pad, not yaws. That clear?' I nodded, smiled, almost laughed. This gang shit was easy. Naivety and bravado are best mates in teenage boys, especially ones high on speed and carrying a forty ounce of cheap rum. Sarge looked from me to Jade. 'So...' he looked her up and down, clearly impressed. 'This yaw bitch, long 'air?'

I'd forgotten all about Jade, standing slightly behind me. I thought quick. 'Yep. Sure is. Good girl, too, if you know how to push her buttons.' I grinned in artifice and slugged on the bottle.

'Tha' right? I'da thought yu too fuckin' young t' be pushing buttons, long 'air, let alone fuckin' a bitch like this one. Yu shaw yu doan wanna share 'er round, yu kno', make a few frien's?' He smiled a gapped-tooth grin at Jade, leering and staring at her flawless body. He was clearly ready to do whatever he liked with her, if given half a chance. But I wasn't having it. I didn't care. Fear wasn't coursing through my veins, not tonight.

'Sorry boys, but she's all mine. We just stopped in here with Rubin on our way to a small party we're going to. Nothing you guys would enjoy, all honkies and young as fuck. Still though, thanks for the compliment. She goes alright, keeps her mouth shut when she's told to, and doesn't back chat. That's right, isn't it Jaime?' Jade looked at me for a split second like I was off my rocker, and then nodded her head ever-so-slightly, her eyes on her feet.

'Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu!. Fuckin' 'ell, Rubes! Where yu find this little cunt? 'E's a fuckin' bawl buster awlrite! Yaw awlrite, kid. Keep yaw head down an' do as yaw told an' yu'll be in 'ere soon 'nuff. I like yaw style, yu crazy cunt. Now go on, get the fuck outta 'ere yu lippy little bastard. Take yaw skinny honky bitch wif yu, too. No meat on 'er bones anyway!' Sarge was smiling, clearly impressed, or maybe just flabbergasted, by the sheer stupidity of the way I had acted. I don't think he could believe what he'd just seen and heard.

'Sweet as, boys. Good to meet ya's. Oh, yeah. Here's a little greeting gift, too. Almost forgot.' I unzipped my backpack and threw the three ounce-bags to the two gangsters. 'Just had it lying around. Thought you guys might want it. Sweet as? Catch ya's later.' With that, I turned and grabbed Jade by the arm. 'Come on, bitch! Let's go.'

*****

By the time Rubin had dropped us back in our small town, a half-hours drive away, he was starting to calm down. He had hit the roof when we got back in the car. Called me a stupid little cunt, said I was lucky I wasn't bashed up or worse. Didn't I know who I had just talked to like a smart ass cunt? Truth was, I hadn't a clue. But some nights are weirder than others. Eventually Rubin had just started laughing until he had to pull over the car and open the door. He said, 'Yaw the ballsiest little cunt I ever met, tha's faw shaw!' And I smiled, put my arm around Jade and started laughing too. Jade nestled in under my arm, and I knew I had pulled off something extraordinary that night. I was golden, untouchable.

Rubin dropped us in town, saying he would get in touch with me the next week. The gang moll friend of Jade's stayed in the car and Jade climbed out with me. I linked my arm with hers, and told her to lead the way home, or wherever it was we were off to. She still hadn't talked to me since we left the compound. Some nights are weirder than others.

While the rest of the kids my age slept or played video games, I got laid on the banks of the river for close to four hours. Jade, who was 17, showed me things I'm still grateful for. It was one of those nights you can't really describe. It was so unutterably stupid and dangerous that it almost beggars belief. But some nights you're untouchable. I wouldn't mind a night like that right now, without the stupidity. There are plenty of safer ways to get the girl, but when you're living on the edges, you tread where perhaps you shouldn't, and pull things off that perhaps you don't deserve. Such is life, I guess.

What is the weirdest night you've ever had?