Coming to a Teeth-Grinding Sadgasm.

I know there is some place I can go where no one knows my name.

This has been the toughest week in a long time. I really battled to keep myself together mentally, and came close to throwing in the towel on a number of occasions. I apologise for my weakness, but it is part of who I am. I hope you humming birds understand. I need your friendship like Paris Hilton needs a bullet to the head. Desperately.

I have been keeping my ear to the ground lately. Keeping an eye out for opportunities and openings. I have some ideas in the pipeline. You will find out in good time. I am trying extremely hard to get excited about the future and what it has in store for me. I'm still unsure about long term plans, but in the short term I am moving into a new flat with my brother and an old school acquaintance which I hope will mean more music and more progress in terms of my mental state. We are similar, my brother and I. We are both haunted by our pasts, and struggle to get a grip on ourselves sometimes. We grew up tough and we live the same now. We will be dirt poor, but we'll have a roof over our heads and clean skin. We will have guitars, too, which means we will have an escape that doesn't come in pill form, and nor will we have to smoke it from a bong. We can make the nights stretch on forever if we try hard enough.

We can be the twilight on the skyline.

A positive. A small mercy, dropped like a morsel of food from the table of a rich man, which I will devour like a starving, mangy dog. Life is all about perspective. I am endeavouring to find a slice of it for myself so that I can look at the world with the hint of a smile rather than the beginnings of a deeply indented frown. I am aged beyond my years. But I am nothing if not a fighter. I'm going to keep on keepin' on, you sweet-scented flowers, if only to spite myself.

But there you go. Some days are made for madness, others for calm, peaceful banality. Ho ho, perhaps that is all this post is. With that wet ticket slapped freshly across your face, I bid you adieu.

How come some people prefer round teabags and others prefer square?