It has been a year now. Cannot believe the time has come and gone so unashamedly quick. Feels so fresh in my mind, and on my skin. I can still remember how you taste. Such a sad time.
But how are you all, sun beams? I haven't been in contact for a very long time and it is disappointing. I miss these pages, this font, the colours I can see on the screen when I'm in full flow. I miss the daily ruminations on the previous entry. I miss the way it kept me closer to you, Freckle Face.
How were your winters? Did you shiver days away and weather nights alone, or were you wrapped up tightly by somebody's love for you? I know which side I was on, but it matters little. I'm not in love with her anymore. I tell myself this daily.
And it feels like all eyes are on me even as I hide. No one is looking, I know, but it's not so simple as that.
My shadow side, so amplified,
Keeps coming back dissatisfied
Elementary, son, but it's so...
My love affair with everywhere was innocent,
Why do you care?
Someone start the car, time to go...
You're the best I know
My sunny side has up and died
I'm betting that when we collide
The universe will shift into a low
The travesties that we have seen
Are treating me like Benzedrine
Automatic laughter from a pro
These are tenets from a rusty mind. I'm disappointed that I lose the feel for the keys so quickly. I want the familiarity again. All this formulaic writing I've been authoring has left my creative verve stunted. I'm a twisted vine. I'm just a mark on your timeline, now.
So please, tell me, do you want more of this? Have you missed it, really and truly? For your own selfish reasons - disregarding mine - do you want me back? I can be your secret anytime, so long as you want the words. I would appreciate it more now than at any other time, if you want me back. My words can bridge our distance. Fingers crossed. Let me know, ok, clouds?
And it feels like more than enough for now. I will be back, if there are prompt calls for the continuation of this. I want to be River Phoenix.
Chocolate or vanilla?
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