You make Me come, You make Me complete, You make Me completely Miserable.

Like violence, you have me. Forever and after.

See, the thing they don't tell you 'bout this Venlafaxine shit is that it's a nostalgia drug. It's dangerous, in a word. She's with me all day and she's clearer in my dreams than she was in the fog of my worst days. At rock bottom - scraping the bottom of the barrel until my fingernails bled and my fingers cracked - she was a constant and a comfort; a love so benign and plentiful that I almost drowned in a puddle of guilt that I was afforded it. Now, in a daze of this "Effexor-XR", she's still there. Only difference is, when I reach out for just the slightest touch, she wafts away, leaving me with the smell of her in my head and the taste of her on my tongue.

Still the photos in my head become movies of our greatest moments. Times when we bent and cowed life to our own whims - together. She and I were a force to be reckoned with, and we made the days tip-toe past us with a reverence that spoke of an unbreakable bond between us. The weeks and months after we met are still tinged in my head with a golden hue, like a constant, perfect twilight was upon us, poisoned only by the fact that she was leaving for Europe and I was heading back to study. Neither of us had the luxury of stopping time, but had we, I know with absolute conviction that we would have, and we would still be there in those sun-drenched days, kissing and laughing quietly in each other's ears. I could light sparks with those sweet-nothings, and she could tear me to shreds with one small giggle.

To say we were perfection-personified would be to sell us short. We were more than the sum of our lives; more than the ebb and flow of the streams of our families; more than the push and pull of our selfish whims. We were an ode to the best aspects of the flawed Human Condition. When you find that little acre of space in your heart suddenly has a tenant that wants to buy the plot, furnish it with the best aspects of yourself and tell them you can be co-owners. Open the gates and let them flood the land with themselves. Dive in, darlings, and let their love wash over you. There is no better feeling - of this I am one hundred percent convinced. She taught me this, and I thank her for the gift.

I never knew life could be as good as that first summer. I never knew that I was capable of a feeling so complete and so completely overwhelming. I would do anything on this earth - or any other planet - to have it back. You will know, when you have experienced it, however, that there's no way to replicate it with anyone else. I'm not saying that she's my last - I'm just saying that she'll always be the best, and I won't be able to ever let it go.

If I told you the meaning of life, would you recognise it?