That Legendary Divorce is Such a Bore.

I was born with a dick in my brain - yeah, fucked in the head...

Discovered something I already knew today. Didn't stop me from experiencing the most intense feeling of - what - shock? Despair? Jealousy? Whatever it was, it was so strong it made my teeth hurt. No shit; that's not a euphemism. It made my fucking teeth hurt. I want to be sick just thinking about it. And I know it's stupid. I already knew... I already knew, just without the cold hard light of fact shining on it. My teeth are melting in the back of my head.

And I had glad tidings to bring until I saw it. I had a happy night to reflect on. I had the words but they've gone to ground in my subconscious. They're hiding from the meltdown. It's like some kid just wound me up like a toy and now I'm gyrating toward the edge of the coffee table and he's not gonna catch me coz it's funnier when I fall and continue my epileptic shuffle on the floor. You ever felt something so strong it made your teeth hurt?

Fuck. Can you even fathom that? I've felt intense shit - pain, love, hate - but it never made my fucking TEETH hurt. It felt like my brain stopped working and I was left to my own devices for ten seconds. Maybe when your brain shuts down, your teeth start aching in this strange way. Maybe all this good work I thought I'd done was just a sugar coating over a sour lolly. Like I said to big bro tonight, you can put a pretty bow on a dog shit and it'll look more appealing; but underneath, it's still just a dog shit. I was talking about myself without even knowing it.

And I don't know if I can deal with the keys right now. I'm sorry, Freckle. I wanted to rant and rave about you. I wanted to show you how much fun I had. Another time, if I can pull myself together...

Who wants to pull my wisdoms out with no anaesthetic?